psykotikfreak

Never Going Back

2012-01-20T07:42:00.000-08:00

Today made me realize that I will never go back to the kanto gym. The reason being that today, I was an arm span close to hot hot hot Brazilian-Japanese models

Hideo Muraoka

and Daniel Matsunaga

as well as Filipino-Italian model/dancer Angelo Caciatorre.

Though I am not sure if they use the shower area and the sauna. But if they do and I chance upon these guys inside the sauna, I would die of extreme heat--from the sauna and the inside. lol...

One time while I was in Gold's Libis, I was side by side Ian Batherson at the treadmill and my ten minute cool down jog became 15 minutes.

Even if it will cost me 15 grand for a year's worth of membership, I wouldn't mind, as long as guys like them would be around. lol. Of course, not only because of these guys but also the benefit of having all those machines and the comforts of working out in an air-conditioned place and having a nice hot shower afterwards.

Straight Talk is B*llshit

2012-01-11T08:59:00.000-08:00

At the office, there are a few younger straight men from our batch that is driving the hell out of me. Everytime they talk, it seems that nothing comes out but bullshit, crap and loads of more of shit.

These younger straight guys talk like they're the most masculine of men, when in fact I look more masculine than they do. In the gay porn industry, they're sort of the twink types. What bugs me the most is how they talk. Take note, how and not what they talk about. The reason being is that the word 'pre short for pare becomes a prefix and suffix for all the words they utter.

To give you an example, here is how they talk:

'Pre, alam mo ba tong ganito 'pre?

Solid 'pre, chicks na chicks 'pre!

Gutom na ko 'pre, kain tayo 'pre.

Gwapo mo 'pre, pakiss nga 'pre.

The last one's not true. lol.

To make it sound more annoying is the emphasis they put on the 'pre. Just like how Kuya Dick would say 'pre when he's on his paminta roles.

I am not sure if they're trying to sound more masculine or whatever it is they want to convey, but it sounds so pretentious and unrealistic for me. What's more annoying is how boisterous they are, like kids from college who wants to prove that they fit into the adult world. I am not sure if this is due to their youth or they are just plain annoying.

I have straight guy friends but when we talk, or I hear them talk, they never make it sound like they way these guys at the office do. They are never boisterous and they never emphasize on 'pre that much.

I am never comfortable with pare, because I use 'tol all the time when addressing my straight friends, male of female. For these guys at the office, all I can say is they make straight talk bullshit.

Silver Spoon

2011-12-29T08:41:00.001-08:00

When I was younger, especially during my teenage years, I have always had this wish that I was born from a rich family. If we were rich, I wouldn't have to worry about having only minimal allowances. I would have new clothes every week, a high-end cellphone, go to hot spots to go on gimmicks with friends, be in a nicer house and do all the things that a teenager would do.

However, I was not. I wouldn't say that we were poor and I was a very unfortunate person, but I would have had the best things in life.

Now, as I look back on those days, I begin to realize that there is a reason for all of those. In my new work, I have two new workmates that came from a rich background. Both graduated from College of St. Benilde. One was from the south and the other one from the wealthy part of Mandaluyong. Both have cars and both have, you know, likes and interests that are very different from mine.

We clicked though, but I am still cautious of things because I know that there is a difference between us that sort of creates this animosity within me. I have nothing against these people born with a silver spoon in their mouths but I try to gauge the level of closeness that I create with them for reasons that I don't know of. I think I'm just being silly in this part.

I am not judging these two new found "friends" of mine but based on what we have shared within the past month that we have known each other, I am guessing that these people have not even touched a broom once in their lives. Let alone experience that hardships that I had to go through growing up without money. This is just a hypothesis and this hypothesis is based from what I have observed and what I know of people having the same background as they do. I am not being judgmental here but I a just stating something I have observed.

Anyway, back to my story. I am glad that I was not born rich. For if I was, I would not have known how to take care of myself and manage a home. Today, I just finished doing two weeks of laundry, and I am proud of myself for doing so because if I have been born rich, my mother would not have asked me to wash my own clothes or cook the meal for dinner, do the dishes and all sorts of household chores that I know many of us have dreaded to do when we were younger.

Because of the training back at our humble home with few money, non-state-of-the-art appliances and no air-conditioning, I wouldn't have made it for the five years of my life that I have lived on my own. Although I live with a partner in a pseudo-married state, sharing tons of work at home is still a big responsibility.

I thank my parents for not being rich and for not letting me grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth for I wouldn't have made it to where I am today, taking care of myself and a someone special.

As for my new "friends," being able to see them in an independent state just like I did, would be a very nice thing to see, so as to disprove my hypothesis that people like them are different from people like me.

VSFS Theme II

2011-12-26T10:38:00.001-08:00

In continuation with the VSFS fever. I have made another design complete with wings. The theme is called Gypsy Dreams. The outfits are designed by Gypsy designs; color and all. Here's one so far. What'ya think?

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T18:43:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Although I am alone on Christmas day and spent Christmas eve at the office... But it's fine...

I got myself the perfect Christmas gift this year. A three month membership at Gold's Gym--but its discounted... From less than P22,000 i got it for P4,200. Sweet right? So Summer 2012, be ready.. haha!

Again, Merry Christmas y'all!

VSFS Theme

2011-12-08T06:24:00.000-08:00

Told ya, there will be a VSFS craze after watching the VSFS 2011 even if I find it so-so. Anyway, I came up with my own theme with a 12-piece outfits sketches complete with wing designs that I hope *fingers crossed* may end up in the list of ideas of VSFS design team. Even just short-listed, I will be happy. Even just coming across this blog. I will be happy. lol

The theme is called Space Age. The theme is mostly about what you will find in outer space. This one is different from the Star Troopers theme from the 2009 show because that one was more futuristic.

So let us start with the first look. The theme begins with the story of an astronaut.

from Earth

who traveled in a space ship

and went into orbit

went past the meteors,

the stars

and satellites.

She met an alien

and another alien

with their alien mother .

To wrap it up, this is a story of the planets and space exploration

in search of the the sun goddess.

So what do you guys think? Wishing for the VSFS team to see these... lol

Embrace

2011-11-22T16:45:00.000-08:00

I am finally getting recognition for my hard work. People do see me now as a sexy person... ^.^ After months of spending time at the gym, I have achieved the body I want. More work and I will be your next underwear model... hahahaha!!!

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2011

2011-11-10T02:47:00.000-08:00

I am so gay that I get too much excited to see the 2011 VSFS. The show was taped last November 9, 2011 but it will be aired in the U.S. on the 29th. I am looking forward to downloading the entire show because I know it will take months before it will be shown here on TV.

Anyway, I have already found some photos on the net and I really think that the outfits were outrageous although some pieces were copies of outfits that have already been featured in some of the previous shows.

Here are some sample pictures from the show.

Adriana Lima in a superhero outfit. I think VS has already made a segment back in 2005 with a superhero theme. Are they running out of ideas? I hope not, must see the show first before I judge. ^.^

This next outfit had black sharp wings that was similar to the Coquetish Fetish segment of the 2006 show. See the picture below.

I also loved Alessandra Ambrosio's wings in the next picture. It's more like a very large halo rather than wings. But its very intricate and very detailed.

Izabel Goulart's outfit with the umbrella wings are awesome. In one video I saw, they were moving in circles. I hope they also moved when she walked down the runway.

And in the Club Pink segment, there were wings that light! I think they're LED. I want to have one hanging in my room. lol!

Chanel Iman

Shannan Click

Karlie Kloss walking for the first time for VS

Behati Prinsloo with Niki Minaj

For the first time since 2006, Flavia de Oliveira finally wore wings. She had closed a segment twice but has never worn wings. (As far as I know lol). But the outfit looks so dark. I think this was on the I Put A Spell on You segment.

There were two Chinese models this year, catwalk returnee Liu Wen and first time walker Sui He.

Liu Wen ( I think she was only in one segment. Too bad.)

Sui He

There were a lot of newcomers and a lot of models that did not walk this season. Karolina Kurkova and Rosie Huntington-Whitely were not able to walk because of other work commitments. My favorites Edita Vilkeviciute and Abbey Lee were also not around as well as VS veterans Selita Ebanks and Isabeli Fontana.

However, some of my favorites like Constance Jablonski and Maryna Linchuk were able to grace the VS runway. Too bad Constance only had one segment on.

Constance Jablonski in her second year with VSFS

Maryna Linchuk

So these are a few of the photos from VSFS 2011. Once I have downloaded the entire show, the VSFS fever will be on again for weeks and I will watch the show over and over again until I memorize the order of the models walking down the runway.. haha!

If any of you VSFSholics out there who already have a link of the video online. Please feel free to post them here... lol

New Work

2011-11-08T06:55:00.000-08:00

For the past 16 months I have been a homebased writer writing essays and stuff about random things. I started with this profession two years ago as a part-time but it has only been last year since I really started to make a living out of it.

However, as a year went by, it started to get into my nerves. I work at home and my desktop computer is just sitting beside my bed. So upon waking up in the morning, I would go straight to my PC, turn it on and check for new projects, revisions and begin my day writing.

This has been the case for more than a year. It gets boring at times so I try to spice things up with running at CCP (back then when I still lived near the area. Now I run at BGC because it's nearer), go to the gym, cook lunch and dinner and do some other crazy stuff.

But these spicing up sometimes gets too boring as well. I needed to talk to other people aside from my partner. I do have friends but I only get to see them once in while when there is an occasion. I do have some people I talk to at the gym but they're just acquaintances so it really doesn't count and family is already a given. You talk to them because they are your family.

What I wanted was a new set of people to come into my life as friends, officemates and what-not. I applied at Telus as an email/chat support for Zynga games on Facebook. I thought that it would rather be neat because I have been accustomed to using email as a means of communicating and it would be easier for me to go in this track in the new chapter of my career.

It's not that I will be giving up writing but I would like to tone it down a little bit and focus more on this new job.

This academic writing job has been very beneficial for me because with this job, I was able to buy myself a desktop computer, laptop, camera, phones, washing machine, refrigerator air-conditioner and basically all the things I own right now.

It has also allowed me to go on a trip to Cebu twice, Hong Kong on my birthday, Bicol on a trip with my friends and most of all take part in the operation of my mom's gallstone. It has also allowed me buy gifts for my nieces and nephews and treat them to movies and theme parks.

Most of all, this academic writing job of mine has allowed me to learn a lot of things that I wouldn't have known If I have not taken this job. I must say I became well-read because of this job. I may not have perfected my English but I have learned to become confident because of the things I know now.

Next week, I will begin my new life as a worker in the contact center industry again. But this time, I will no longer be in a voice account. I am in fact excited to meet new people and to make new friends.

For now, I will finish all my tasks for the week and hopefully be able to adjust in the coming weeks and learn to focus on a full-time job and write on the side to earn money to pay the bills.

Changes and some other stuff

2011-10-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

There have been a lot of changes in my life lately and I believe that there is more to come.

First of all, there is an impending change in my career that I do not want to divulge yet so as not to disrupt the good charm from flowing. In Tagalog, baka maunsyame.

Second, I have noticed that my face is also growing muscles. I don't know if that's bad or that's good because we made fun of a hiker friend of ours, who according to one of our friends, is growing muscles on his face because of his weekly hiking getaway (I actually envy him. I have so long wanted to go on a hike because the last time I did it was four years ago).

Here's a picture of me taken earlier today showing the "muscles" on my face. (Maybe it was just the way I smirked in the picture that showed the facial muscles. I don't know. You tell me.)

Oh, and by the way and thirdly, I went overboard with the mohawk haircut... lol...

***

Earlier today at the gym, the most awesome thing just happened. Four of the guys that I find HAWT were in today... One of them, an acquaintance with and someone I had the chance of having some moments with; the other two were middle-aged hot tattooed daddies and the other one a younger guy.

One of the two HAWT tattooed daddies was taking to the acquaintance of mine. I swear, seeing those big muscled men close to each other was like watching porn. lol. It was like an eruption of male sexuality at the gym earlier I swear I was gonna melt away with heat. lol. I wanted to take a picture of them but I think that it would be inappropriate.

Anyway, that's it for now. I just wanted to release the tension. haha!

Sisters

2011-10-24T00:54:00.000-07:00

I have only seen Emma Stone once in a movie, which was Zombieland. I can't help but notice her resemblance to Mila Kunis. It must be those large doe-eyed peepers of hers that makes her look like a younger sister of Mila Kunis. If they would make a film together a sisters, it would be realistic.

Here's their pictures.

Emma Stone is the one on the left and Mila Kunis is the one on the right. I guess their smiles also look the same.

Here's another one. This time

its Brazilian model Flavia de Oliveira and Estonian model Carmen Kass.

Flavia is the one on the left and Carmen is the one on the right.

Here's a last one, French model Constance Jablonski and Brazilian model Isabeli Fontana.

Constance is the one on the left and Isabeli is the one on the right. What do you think of their resemblance?

Rock On Pilipinas

2011-10-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

Last October 14 was the Tanduay Rhum Rockfest held at the MOA Concert Grounds. My sisters invited me in because they have no male companion to come with them.

I thought the night would be a drag for me because I rarely know some of the new rock acts today and it has been a while since I last attended a rock concert. Anyway, to cut the story short, it was one hell of a fun night. It was more than fun actually because I ended up bangin' my head to the sounds of Wolfgang.

Wolfgang is known to be the prince of Philippine rock and roll. Mind you, I grew up listening to their first album and a few songs back in high school so I

know a bit of what the band has to offer.

But I never imagined myself singing and jumping like crazy to the sounds of Halik ni Hudas and Tulisan. Man, it was just awesome. The night was just awesome. I never thought that I could rock out that hard.

When people see me, it never come across their mind that I would know stuff about rock music. I don't look like a rocker and I never confine myself to one genre of music. But hey, I'm a 90s child and growing up in a household where rock music was played everyday, the influence just comes naturally.

Being a homo is not a determinant of the type of music you listen to. If there is such a thing as a "rock chick," then there must also be a thing as a "rock fag." lol...

I might be a Christina Aguilera fan but this homo can rock out hard with Wolfgang if he wants to.

No Title

2011-10-11T09:57:00.000-07:00

I am so fucking tired of what I do. I need a new profession. This thing is killing me.

To tell a friend or to keep mum

2011-10-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

How do you tell a friend to lay off on too much drinking and smoking without being too meddlesome?

I have this friend of mine who has been living such a sedentary lifestyle of inactivity, heavy smoking and drinking. I mean, he's got a nice job and all but what I'm concerned about is his health. I have told from my previous posts how smoking and drinking has caused me to spend a few days at the hospital due to supraventricular tachycardia (SVT).

This friend of mine has experienced the same experience I had with this disorder. However, he never managed to turn things around and start on a better habit. Instead, he continued on with his lifestyle of more than occasional drinking and heavy smoking. I want to tell him to lay off on the habit but I'm afraid that I may seem like being too intrusive of his life. As a friend, I feel like its my duty to share with him a few pointers on how to stay away from experiencing the disease again because the doctor said that it may come back anytime.

Given his lifestyle, it's very likely that it will strike him again. But then again, I might stay mum on this one for the meantime and wait for the right timing perhaps.

Putting the fire out on smoking

2011-09-26T10:59:00.001-07:00

When I was younger, I used to think that smoking was a very cool thing to do. Until the day that my heart went 255 beats per minute.

I started smoking when I was around 16 or 17. Before I went to college I was already trying out a stick or two. It was during my first year in college that I really got into the habit. A very bad habit.

Back when I was in college, I experienced a lot of things then that I thought were the craziest thing that I could ever experience. Not having a boyfriend was one of the biggest problem I had back then, never did I realize that there were more problems that I would face in life that would mean so much to me.

I was also a bit of insecure because I didn't know how to love myself then and I turned to other people (e.g. guys) to make me feel loved. If I didn't feel that, I begin to sink back to my shell. When this happens, I turn to a stick of cigarette.

Every time I light one, I feel powerful and that power makes me feel secure and nothing in the world could ever harm me or make me feel little. The college where I came from, being criticized for how you dress, how you look and by who you are is a normal thing. This made me feel so insecure about myself because people would tend to look at you from head to toe in a manner that would make you feel like you were on a chopping block.

It was not the pretty back then and I was really insecure. The only way I can get power to overcome that insecurity was with a cigarette.

This lasted for some years until I was already working. In the call center industry, people are dressed to the nines like there's no tomorrow. During my stay at PeopleSupport, there were a lot of good looking people and being in the same place where they were, made me think that I do not have anything that I could use to stay on the same playing field with them. Because of this, I once again, turned to smoking because that same power makes up for the confidence and self-esteem that I lack.

Until one day, Christmas season. I was hospitalized. After that, I immediately quit smoking and started to live a new and much better life. It was hard at first and seeing other people smoke would want me to light a stick and go back to the same old me. But the experience at the hospital made me drop the idea.

I eventually began to forget about smoking. However, I get nightmares of me getting back to the old habit. When this happens, I jolt out of my sleep and thank God that it was all a dream. I know it sounds crazy but this is for real, I get nightmares about me smoking again.

I has been one year and nine months since the time I quit. Sometimes, I still get insecure but the outcome of quitting and being able to exercise more without panting so damn hard has become my security blanket rather than the smoke that comes out of the cigarette stick.

Before, when I was still smoking, running and doing strenuous physical activities was a big task for me to accomplish. I couldn't even run one block without having difficulty breathing. Today, I can run the whole of Global City without any breathing problem at all.

The result of my effort in living a healthier life has become my source of power whenever I get that feeling of insecurity. I no longer get that power from an external source but rather I get it from within me and that power is more potent and has more sustainability than a single stick of cigarette.

On being gay, ripped and handsome

2011-09-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

Being good looking and lean are two of the most sought-after characteristics in the gay community for a potential partner or simply just a nice quickie. It's shallow, very materialistic and downright discriminating but hey, gay people are just men who happens to like other men who exudes the qualities of a man that instinct would tell a woman as a potential mate.

I was browsing through my friends list on FB and noticed that the profile pictures of my PLU friends and acquaintances are simply the epitome of what I have just described above. I am not sure if they have it in their genes but all of them are beautiful creatures with nice bodies and attractive demeanor. Of course the nice bodies are products of hours spent at the gym and the good-looking feature may be attributed to genes and beauty products that money can buy.

Regardless whether genetic or hard-earned, my point is, it has become mandatory for a gay man to become good-looking and carry a great and desirable body if not the leanest. It's a hard feat and accomplishing it would be like a trophy that you can brag anywhere and anytime with anyone.

I tried comparing myself to these guys and fortunately, I ain't lagging behind. I may not be the most good-looking one there is or the one who has the leanest body but based on experiences, I do get some people turned on by how I look. I am not bragging, I am just stating the truth. Through my determination and hard work with taking care of myself and how I look, I can therefore say that I can rank myself along with those people in my FB list.

Vanity for me is not a bad thing, because it will lead you to the right track of living a better life and the right track on taking care of your self. There is no one else out there who will take care of yourself but you alone, so now is the right time to do something about getting healthy, being active, having a desirable body and bangin' that hot guy from the gym... ^.^

Tired

2011-08-11T07:13:00.000-07:00

If I could only change careers that easy I would, but its not that easy when what you do has been your bread and butter for too long. In fact its more than my bread and butter because it also gives me spa moments, travel, fine dining, gadgets and much more... lol

Kasalanan ko ba?

2011-08-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

Kasalanan ko bang nagkaganyan ka?

Hindi mo kasi inalagaan ang sarili mo.

Angel??? ^.^

2011-07-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

I was having a blast trying out Picasa editor the other day. I took some self shots because I ~~love myself so much~~ was having so much idle time after work. lol. Here's a sample of the ~~narcissist~~ crazy moment I had with my camera and Picasa. ^.^

The New Me

2011-06-19T01:01:00.000-07:00

I have long been battling body image, weight issues and the things that come in between. When I was a kid, at around 7 to 10 years old, I was the skinny kid, who often gets hospitalized because of the lack of proper nutrients in the body. My mom took measures and got me under vitamins to boost my appetite.

In high school, my body was just in between skinny and stocky. I have a bit of baby fats in my tummy from the time after I was on vitamins, when i really gained the appetite to eat more.

After high school, I stopped school for a year and went bum for a year before entering college. That was when I started to gain a lot of weight and started feeling really heavy. When I entered college I began to become conscious and started on diets and a few exercise, until I lost some weight and was able to fit into small and medium-sized clothing and 31-inch pants.

During my last year in college I was really thin and seeing myself in pictures

leaves me in disbelief. See the picture below.

After college, I started working and my shift was always at night, which means no time to exercise. This period of my life was the time that I never really got the chance to eat right. I smoke a lot and was not in my best shape. I have had several attempts to go on a diet and exercise but all of it went in vain, so my body weight was in yo-yo due to my yo-yo attitude in proper eating and attempt to exercise.

In 2009, I was in my worst shape ever and my lifestyle was so sedentary I ended up at the hospital. Back them I was really big. My tummy was bulging and I can no longer define my jaw line, which is very much defined in the picture above. The picture below says it all.

See the horrendous stomach? Disgusting... ^.^

Here's another one.

and another one.

See the face? Is that siopao I am seeing?

But I got the chance to turn things around. After I was hospitalized, I was on a journey towards wellness. I quit smoking, I started watching what I eat and held back on drinking too much alcohol.

I started jogging in the middle of 2010 and continued until today. Late last year I also bought dumbbells, which I use at home. There were some improvements and I was very happy with that. Early this year at around mid-April, I started to hit the gym. It has been only two months since I added weight training to my cardio exercise and I am really happy with the results.

I no longer have the bulging stomach, my jaw lines are no defined and my body has gotten bigger with muscles.

That's one proof. My lanky arms have gotten bigger.

I have not achieved the total fit body yet but I'm on my way and I am very happy with the results so far.

For now, I will continue what I do and keep on rockin' a great body by eating the right food and maintaining my exercise regimen. Until my next post and next time, I promise, you'll see abs... ^.^

The Writer is Irked

2011-06-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

I am not a perfect writer nor a speaker of the English language, but I make it a point that my sentences flow smoothly and has coherence. I have been reading some FB posts from people in my friends list that have been really causing me to regret that they were ever my friends--on FB at least.

I mean, c'mon, at least have the decency to edit your posts for clarity, consistency of words and coherence of ideas. And please, bear in mind that using non-layman words in your posts does not make you a good writer. Writing is like cooking a perfectly-cooked meal; everything has to blend together. If the words don't fit right, don't use it.

The worst thing is, it really pains me that we both graduated from the same college, which does not allow you to make any excuse to butcher the English language.

Peace out, I'm a writer and its kind of a nuisance for me to see someone trying hard to be a writer but is no good at all in trying. Stick to what you do best, please.

Have I not done enough?

2011-06-10T09:38:00.000-07:00

There has been a great deal of pressure that has been put upon me these past couple of weeks. I will be 27 this year and I honestly, I still have not figured out everything yet about what I should do about my life.

I am doing pretty much okay as of now, doing my freelance writing stint and getting enough money to buy myself stuff. But it feels like I have not done something right yet. It feels like what I do is not enough yet.

The truth of the matter is, my partner has been pressuring me to buy a house. It really makes me frantic thinking about it. I know inside of me that I also wanted to start investing in one but I don't feel like its the time yet. The reason is I am not yet ready to take on a financial burden when I know that what I do is somehow temporary.

This is why I save up a lot, but every time I do, it seems as though there are things that come up that requires me to shell out big amounts of money. I wanted to save up first before I commit to something.

Here's my plan, I will save as much as a hundred grand for this year and start off with my investment in a house for next year.

The truth is, every time my partner tells me about starting to invest in a real-estate property, it makes me feel like what I have done and where I am right now is not valid enough for me to be called successful.

Being successful is very subjective and for someone who comes from a family where it's very hard to find something to be proud of, I am very much proud to say that being independent at an early age of 20 is a big feat for me because I know of a lot of people my age who still lives with their parents and does not have a clue of how to run their lives on their own.

I am also proud to say that I am able to by myself my own PC, my own refrigerator, my own washing machine and a lot of things. It may seem petty for me to say this but at least I'm not broke and I don't need to ask for assistance from my family to get me trough it all.

I know I will get that house somewhere between the age 28 and 30 and as for now, I am still amassing every funds I can to make me secure once the financial responsibility is bestowed upon me

ANTM Cycle 17

2011-05-25T06:47:00.000-07:00

It has been a while--no a veeerryyyy long while since my last post. A lot of things have happened and I have been very busy with work, moving in to a new apartment and buying new stuff for the new apartment and of course with the most recent ANTM Cycle 16, where Brittani, my favorite, won.

I am also excited about the new upcoming cycle because its going to be an all-star cast. Models form the the past 16 cycles will be competing for the 17th cycle.

Not sure when the show will air but I am pretty excited to see the bitches Angelea (Cycle 14) and Alexandria (Cycle 16) make everyone's lives in the Top Model house a living hell. Who among these two bitches will be the bitchiest of all, and how will soft-mannered Laura Kirkpatrick (Cycle 13) and Allison Harvard (Cycle 12) handle all the fights?

Find out next on America's Next Top Model Cycle 17.

Sorry Self

2011-02-07T10:06:00.001-08:00

I feel so sorry for myself.

Insatiable

2011-01-22T09:02:00.000-08:00

I feel so lonely and alone on a Saturday night. Went out alone, dined out alone, watched a movie alone.

I know I have things in my life but I wish for something that I can't have.

My insatiable self is haunting me again.

Untitled

2011-01-19T04:01:00.000-08:00

I am a fool, waiting for his bubble to burst.
Knows his limit yet does know when to stop.
Keeps waiting for things to happen yet deep
inside knows there isn’t any to come.

I long for something, my spirit cannot be captured.
My desire to break free is remarkable
Though I am not sure what to do, what to expect and
whether this is true.

I never learn, I never learn from my mistakes.
I realize that through my carnal desires,
through my insatiable desire for a kiss, a passionate one,
would render things futile.

Volatile heart,
Fickle mind,
Capricious body,
Rest, rest…

Happy New Year!

2010-12-30T00:59:00.001-08:00

It has been a very busy month for me and so much has happened within the last three weeks that I forgot how time flies so fast.

Today is the 364th day of 2010 and I'm stuck at home with nothing to do anymore. I finished all the job I had to accomplish to free my mind from any worries come 2011.

What else do I have to say here?

Oh, I bought a new iPod touch. Also a new desktop. My Christmas gifts for myself.

I read my 2011 forecast and it said that next year will be a great year for writers that were born in the year of the rat. I was born in the year if the rat, so that makes me very lucky next year. My forecast also predicted that more writing jobs leaning towards creative writing are abundant next year. I just that such predictions would be true, because I have so long wanted to venture into creative writing. With luck and determination, I hope that I would book a job as a creative writer.

Well, that's it for now. I would like to greet everyone a belated Merry Christmas and welcome 2011 with a blast.

Happy New Year!

All About America's Next Top Model

2010-11-26T01:08:00.000-08:00

It has been long since my last post, and right now I'm back!

Recently I have been really hooked with America's Next Top Model Cycle 15 that I watch the episodes a week ahead of the local cable channel on YouTube to see the photoshoots and who gets eliminated next.

For this season, I really don't know who I want to win, whether its Chelsey or Ann, because I like both of them. Chelsey has the walk, the looks and the personality, which was something that has been stressed so much on the show, to become America's Next Top Model. Chelsey has not won any best photo yet but she has won many challenges in the competition.

Then there's Ann, the awkward girl who is very photogenic and has won five best photos in a row but the judges say lacks the personality because of her shyness.

It seems to me that this will either be a case of Anya and Whitney (Cycle 10) or Yoanna and Mercedes (Cycle 2).

In cycle 2, the battle between Yoanna and Mercedes was fierce, but the two had very different strategies in the show. Yoanna was the one with the knowledge about the fashion industry while Mercedes was the one without much background about the industry but has managed to grow as the competition went. In the end, the judges felt that Yoanna was more into the fashion industry because she breathe, eat and live fashion that's why they let her win.

In cycle 10, Anya was the contestant exuding high-fashion while Whitney, the plus-sized one, was more on the commercial side rather than being high-fashion. However, in the end, the judges let Whitney win the competition because they wanted to convey the message that even plus-sized models can win the competition.

In this cycle, Chelsey was the Yoanna and the Anya of the competition and Ann was the Mercedes and the Whitney. The outcome of the competition can either be similar to the results of cycle 2 or cycle 10.

Chelsey, being the one who knows a lot about the fashion industry and has the high-fashion walk and the modelling background, may end up winning the competition over Ann, who has no background in modelling.

Ann could also become the winner, much like what happened to Whitney in cycle 10. The judges might think that letting an awkward and timid girl win the competition could send a message to the public that being timid and shy is not a bad thing and girls like her also have a shot at becoming a high-fashion model, just like Whitney, being a plus-sized model getting shot at becoming a fashion model.

So who is it gonna be? The high-fashion Chelsey Hersley?

or the awkward but photogenic Ann Ward?

Find out on the finale this December 1st.

At a Loss

2010-09-25T09:32:00.001-07:00

I want something, yet I don't know what it is.

I want to do something to keep me sane, yet I can't figure out what it is.

I want to soar, yet I don't know where to go.

I am at a loss, yet I know where I stand.

Fatty

2010-09-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

I have always had this concern within me about body image. Ever since the day that I began to become conscious about how I look, having a a great body is what I have always wanted to have, which over the years is hard to achieve.

I'm the type of person who loves food. I love to cook and I eat what I cook. However, eating is one of the main factor that contributes to my concern about body image. Eating makes me bigger in terms of weight.

I am not obese, nor I am super overweight. But I know in myself that I still have not achieved the body that I want. When I look in the mirror, I can never appreciate the person I see in front of me. I work out, and I see the changes that it does to my body, but I always see flaws in the image I see in the mirror. Sometimes I think that I do have some psychological problem.

Right now, I try to stay away from unhealthy junk foods. I only drink soda when there are special occasion, and I limit myself to two glasses of the sugary drink. I eat chocolates, but not too much. I eat less pork and rice, which was quite difficult when I was still starting because rice is a staple food and taking less of it in one's diet is difficult to do.

I try to sweat what I intake. Whenever I had too much of what I eat, which is mostly just one cup of rice extra more from the usual one cup of rice in a meal, I try to lose it by sweating and working out. I see the changes, yet still I couldn't fully appreciate the person I see in the mirror.

What annoys me a lot is when people you have not seen for a long time sees and tells you that you have gone fatter. Right in my face? C'mon, can you be more harsher? It's like the efforts I'm putting in on shedding the weight off has not paid off yet.

I'm going to post some photos in here. Just be the judge if you think I'm fat.

A New Post, A New Life

2010-08-22T05:29:00.000-07:00

There have been a lot of things that happened within the last time I wrote something in here. Decisions that I have spent nights weighing, a vacation that I have so long wanted and a new lifestyle that I have learned to love and appreciate.

I'm no longer connected with EMCI. The work became such a bore, that I come to work late and leave early. Probably because there was really nothing to do. I was "borrowed" by another project from my original one and spent three weeks editing manuscripts without the proper training. It didn't turn out well because the client did not like me and my partner's work.

What the hell, they didn't even give us the proper training to do the work and they expect us to do great at it without even knowing what to do with those manuscripts. I didn't even know where to start, what errors to look for or if what I was doing was correct.

Then the two month period of idleness, of waiting for work that didn't come. I was on the brink of shouting at the top of my lungs every time the idleness kicks in everyday. The daily routine of pretending that I was busy went from fun to the point of losing the potential to do great, or being productive.

Until the day I was told that they are putting me back to my original project. The feeling was mixed. I kind of wanted to but then again no. The reasons were these: I see my former team mates staying so late at the office and sometimes to the point of going home early in the morning the following day just to finish work. I can't afford to do that, because of my second reason. I have other things to do that gives me more money than having my copy-editing job.

I gave my resignation letter a week after and used up my sick leaves and vacation leaves to stay out of the office and do my other job. I know that leaving might be another mistake, but I'm here to prove that wrong.

There's an uncertainty that haunts me, and I know that uncertainty is one of the few words that totally scares me. But I have to live up to my decision. This is the second time that I have done this; leave my work for something I love doing, which is writing, and this time I know that I'll do just fine. Like that lyrics from the song Try Again says, "dust yourself off and try again". I certainly will and I will try again.

I went on a vacation in Cebu. I let myself forget about life here in Manila for a moment and just spend time worrying about nothing. I'll let worrying go back once I step back to my home city again.

When I got back to Manila, that was when I started thinking about what to do with my life. There are a lot of things to do, a lit of decisions to make and a lot of choices to make. It's up to me to make the right ones.

For now, so far, so good.

I'll let worrying bother me tomorrow.

Songs from the Heart

2010-06-28T23:35:00.001-07:00

There are times that when you just feel low and feel that somehow at the end of the day, the comforts of your bed would just drown the sadness away.

It also feels good to have some good music accompany you in these kinds of times.

Whenever I feel like this, there are a few songs that I listen to to make me feel okay.

1. Fly Like a Bird- Mariah Carey

This song is like hope and salvation wrapped in soulful and honest lyrics and heavenly out-of-this world vocals. For me, Mariah is at her best in this song.

2. Soar- Christina Aguilera

The upbeat nature of this song will surely cast that depressing mode away, plus the inspirational lyrics will truly make you soar and believe in yourself.

3. I will be- Christina Aguilera

Christina is known for her songs that inspires the true self and believing in one's self and this song has never failed to deliver that message.

4. Beautiful/The Voice Within- Christina Aguilera

Again, two of Christina's masterpieces. Beautiful lyrics (thanks to Linda Perry for Beautiful), soulful melody, and the most beautiful vocals I have ever heard in a song.

I wanna go home

2010-05-30T23:37:00.000-07:00

I swear, if I have to spend another day here facing my computer, I'd die...

I wanna go home,

hell, I wanna quit and find another job.

DeWyze wins Idol

2010-05-27T03:03:00.000-07:00

It was expected but kind of unexpected. If you know what I mean.

Lee DeWyze was crowned as American Idol season 9 winner, defeating equally marvellous contender Crystal Bowersox. I have always rooted for Lee ever since the season started, along with Siobhan Magnus and Crystal.

It came as a surprise to me that Lee won over Crystal because the judges were not all that crazy with Lee's performances and there hasn't been any female winner since Jordin Sparks won in season 7, so I had the feeling that a girl would win this season.

Nevertheless, either one of them winning would be a great choice. I'm just so glad that Lee won the competition. Hats off to you big guy, you look good, you're an awesome singer and I know you'll make it big out there.

Neighbors

2010-05-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

There is a newly opened male boarding house in front of the place where I stay. Their window is adjacent to my room's window and I can see them every night shirtless. One was even doing push ups.

Most of them are skinhead and some of them have nice bodies. I also noticed that they're kinda cute. Hehe...

I chanced upon one of them outside without a shirt on. I took my camera and secretly took a picture. Here he is, talking to somebody on the phone.

Men and Music

2010-05-07T07:37:00.000-07:00

The two words that begin with the letter M in the English dictionary that I love the most are men and music (count money as third, but it really doesn't fit well in this post). The reason behind it is that men (the good-looking kind) and music (the great to listen to kind) are both fun and indulgent to look at (men) and listen to (music).What can be more exciting and awe-inspiring than combining the two together? Good-looking men who make good music.
In this entry, I present to you the top 10 men of music that I like the most, not only because of their face and body but of course, their great music.

10. John Legend

This soul singer always captivates me with his soothing voice, melodic songs and charisma.

9. Rob Thomas
I liked him a lot better when he was still with Matchbox 20. I thought that his song writing skills were genius and heart warming. I still liked him though when he went solo.

8. Mark McGrathWho wouldn't like this guy? I mean he's cute, has a nice body and a cute smile. I became a fan of his band Sugar Ray back in high school during the late 90s when alternative bands were still not emo.

7. Mike ShinodaThe rapper from Linkin Park. I had a big crush on this guy way back in 2001 when I was still an LP fan and I told myself that if I'd ever meet him, I'd have sex with him. lol! By the way, he was the inspiration for my skinhead hairstyle back then.

6. Brandon BoydIt's that part in me that loves tall and skinny guys a lot. The combination of hotness, melodious voice and emotional songwriting makes this Incubus frontman, a deadly combo.

5. Jon Mclaughlin

I found out about this guy when he sang a duet with Beyonce, and since then I have been digging his past albums and I fell in love with him.

4. JD Fortune

Isn't he just the cutest? He looks more like a soap actor to me than a rock star, but anyway, isn't it nicer to have more hot rockers?

3. David CookWhat's amazing about this guy is the ability of his voice to reach those high notes, which I really like a lot. Of all the male A.I. winners, he's my number one favorite.

2. Kris Allen
David Cook may be my favorite A.I. male winner but Kris Allen is hotter for me. Just look at the picture.

1. Justin Timberlake
I never liked him when he was still with his boyband, but when he went solo and listened to his music, I immediately loved him... and his body too...

These are my top ten men of music. I know there are a lot of great men in music out there but I can't put them all here even though I would really love to. I hoped you enjoyed this post.

Siobhan is out of Idol

2010-04-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

I still can't get over the fact that my Idol bet Siobhan Magnus has been eliminated from Idol. I had a gut feeling that she won't win but she'll make it to the top 3 at least, but seeing her go home at this early part of the competition is quite disappointing.

Season 9 is not going to be the same without her.
I will surely miss the remaining five weeks without her on stage and those high notes she always belt.

I hope she gets a great career upon her departure from Idol.

Kudos and Good luck Siobhan!

Christina Updates

2010-04-05T04:42:00.000-07:00

There is so much to love about Christina Aguilera now.

Her new album will be out this June, and I can't wait to get my hands on that album.

She is sporting a short blond bob, which makes her look young and sophisticated...

...and she has got a new single out titled "Not Myself Tonight." Lady Gaga, better move over coz the Diva is back with a new club single that's sure to get you off your seats and go dancing like crazy. Click here to hear her new single.

Siobhan takes on Chaka

2010-03-30T23:12:00.000-07:00

I'm excited to go home tonight to watch American Idol becasue Siobhan Magnus will be singing Through the Fire on R&B/Soul week.

I'm imagining the scream she'll do to the song. I don't care if Simon hates it, all that matters is that Siobhan rocks!!!

To Kat Regunton

2010-03-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

A former office mate of mine resigned last March to pursue her review for this year's BAR exam, and I have been told that she frequents this blog of mine to check out some new things going on in our little office lives.

I say, Kat Regunton, we miss you and Al (another colleague who resigned and went to Singapore), and we will keep you posted on the happenings on our lives. Good luck on your review and hope you pass the BAR exam.

=)

New Idol Favorites

2010-03-22T01:04:00.000-07:00

This week is the top 11 week of American Idol season 9, and based on what I've heard, It's going to be Billboard Top 100 for the theme. The last four weeks made me changed my preference for the idol contestants that I am rooting for, whihc is basically based on the performances that theyy have shown during the semi-finals and the first week of the finals.

First on my new list of favorites is Didi Benami. She's not really the strong vocalist type but her voice has a special kind of tone into it that reminds me of singer-songwriters like Sarah McLachlan and Jewel. The last two weeks have been solid performances from her and the best she did so far for me is her performance of Fleetwood Mac's Rhianon on the top 14.

Next is Lee DeWyze. Though Lee has to work on his shyness, he has got one the most distinct voice among the male contestants. I like the way he growls his voice during his performances, it's very Eddie Vedder-like. His performance of Owl City's Fireflies was great though he could have picked a stronger song like Lips of an Angel.

Crystal Bowersox. Watvhing this indie mama on stage is like watching a seasoned musician performing on stage. The good thing I like about her is she knows her music and she chooses the right song everytime and makes it as if its her own song. Best perfomance for me so far is Tracy Chapman's Give Me One Good Reason.

My top favorite this season is of course, the very dramatic Siobhan Magnus. This girl rocks and owns the stage when she performs, especially when she lets out her signature belting. From the first week of the Semi-finals, I have been rooting for her and waiting for her performance every Wednesday night. So far for me, the best performance she had were Think by Aretha Franklin and The Rolling Sotne's Paint it Black.

Before my favorites were Andrew Garcia and Casey James. But every week, Andrew seems to be losing his luster and he just keeps on being overshone by these contestants especially Crystal and Siobhan. For Casey, he's cute, but his voice gets lost in the music sometimes.

According to my instinct, it's going to be two girls in the final two this season, and based on weekly performances, no doubt that Siobhan and Crystal will be in the final stage.

Goals

2010-03-01T23:57:00.000-08:00

Why do I feel like I don't have much time left to make something out of my life. I'm only 25 and I feel like I'm already running out of time. Is this because of the rapid pace of change that has been going on in the world today? I'm not really sure. Sometimes I wonder if 25 years-olds back in the days feel the same way as I do?

Whatever. I really don't have the answer to that so why bother thinking about it.

What I wanted to do now is to set goals that I would want to achieve this year and continue in the years to come.

I wanted to start small, and make my way to the top little by little. In this way, I won't be overwhelmed by such huge things that I might lose my focus.

My sister and I had an agreement that we would share P15,000 each to renovate the small house we have in Fairview. Once the house is renovated, we would have it leased we would share the money that we will get from the rent.

The money that I would get from the rent would be allotted for a small online business that I would want to set up. I'm not sure what it is yet but I'll think of something along the way.

For now that is my plan, and I want to keep my fingers crossed and my thinking positive in order for me to achieve this goal.

Finally a Thumbs Up

2010-02-22T20:23:00.000-08:00

The past few days has been gruelling, tiring and anxiety-filled. It's all because of fears that the project might get dissolved or whatnot.

Finally, early this morning, the moment I checked my work email, I saw a good sign. I guess it's a good job after all.

It really made my day.

American Idol Season 9

2010-02-21T16:27:00.000-08:00

This week on American Idol will be the performances of the top 24 semi-finalists, and I can't wait for Wednesday to come so I can watch it. Last week was the announcement of the top 24 and here are five of my favorites that made it to the top 24.

These are Haeley Vaughn, Lee DeWyze, Crystal Bowersox, Casey James and Andrew Garcia.

Hope these guys make it to the top 12 too.

*fingers crossed*

Where Have I Been All This Time?

2010-02-11T06:44:00.000-08:00

I'm still thinking. I haven't really found what I'm looking for. I'm still a wreck after all these years with nothing to brag about. I don't even know where I'm headed. I hope that one of these days, I will find my way to that place where I should be.

Wake Up!

2010-01-26T21:23:00.000-08:00

Here I go again, starting to feel stupid about myself. What's worse is that I'm beginning to hate myself for being hard-headed and egocentric.

Why won't I take no for an answer? And why do I always feel like my pride has been bruised whenever somebody notices my mistake? I know I'm not perfect but I always let this pride get in the way of what I do.

I'm ashamed of myself. I know I have to change and I know that I have got to wake up and start working right. This is the only job I got and I don't want to start feeling that I have to look for another just because my ego was hurt.

Player

2010-01-15T06:21:00.001-08:00

I got myself this one last week. This small Philips Go Gear Mix player packs great sounds and comes in three colors: pink, white and black. What I like about it is that it's cute, easy to store music with, simple (sans the complexity of iPods) yet stylish.

Right now, what's playing on this small wonder of mine are these:

Something to Pass the Hours By

2010-01-14T20:48:00.000-08:00

It has been really boring here at the office lately because no feedback yet has been received from the client. So that only means that we don't have work to do. What I did to amuse myself was to create looks on Looklet.com based on already existing looks I got from the net. Can you judge if I was able to copy the original looks?

Here are the original looks.

Here are my versions.

Here's another one.

These are the original gals.

And these are my gals.

What do you think? Were they as good as the original?

Loving McL

2010-01-10T18:27:00.000-08:00

The first song I have heard this year was the mash-up of Jon McLaughlin and Beyonce's Smack Into You and Smash Into You, while browsing through a blog I dearly so love. Since then I have been searching about this Jon McLaughlin guy and found out more about his music, and now, I'm love with his music...

His talent is the main thing, his good looks are just a bonus... See him below, he's gorgeous isn't he?

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T15:35:00.000-08:00

2009 has been a great year for me; major events happened to my life that were all important in how I see things at the moment.

This year I decided to go back to the writing field and quit my call center job, which was a very risky decision for me but with good luck and God's guidance, I was able to make it.

I have always wanted to perform in front of a large crowd, and I was able to do it this year by joining our department's dance group for our company Christmas party. The feeling was stunning and I was able to conquer that teeny weeny stage fright.

The last two weeks of the year gave me a lesson on how to live healthy. I was hospitalized last December 21st and spent three days at the hospital. Good thing I didn't have to spend Christmas there. I was diagnosed with Supra Ventricular Tachycardia, a failure in the delay in the relay of electrical impulses from the right atrium of the heart to the left ventricle, which causes blood to usher in to the left ventricle causing palpitations. It can be caused by several things, in my case, its the low potassium level in my body and high caffeine intake. The dietitian told me to follow a low fat, low salt diet and to avoid caffeinated drinks to prevent the failure from happening again. Nicotine also thickens the blood, making it hard for the blood to pump. So this means that 2009 will be the 8th and the last year that I will ever smoke a cigarette.

Come 2010, I hope to experience more wonderful things and try to follow the diet that was recommended by my doctor and to never ever stick a cigarette in my mouth.

Also, I may not be able to buy myself that Philips MP3 player yet because I had to pay a part of my hospital bills. I guess I may have to settle for a less expensive MP3 player.

Christmas Wish

2009-12-20T22:06:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna buy myself this one...

Updates

2009-12-13T19:42:00.000-08:00

The last two weeks has been very busy for me. There were a lot of things that went on that I haven't had the chance to post an entry on this blog.

The week after we watched New Moon was the week of our company Christmas party. It was held in A Venue in Makati Avenue last December 4. I forgot to tell you guys that I joined our departments dance group that competed during the Christmas party. The dance routine was for 15 minutes and the music was a medley of hip-hop and pop that included Calle Ocho, Jai Ho Right Round (my dance routine) and Apologize (my dirty dancing routine). We won 1st place. the feeling was awesome even if we were not the champion.

Here are the people from the legal department that were part of the dance group.

***

We took 7 grand from our win and spent it at Top Grill along Jupiter St. on December 9. Here is a picture from the celebration.

***

I bought my mom a refrigerator that I promised her. I don't have a picture of it though but I got one from the net and it looked like this.

New Moon Review

2009-12-01T18:41:00.001-08:00

I was able to see New Moon last Friday. Let me tell you that I did not enjoy one bit of it. Except maybe for the half-naked wolf pack and Dakota Fanning. It was torture! Two hours of stupid and lame acting was not worth the 170 bucks!

Lame isn't even enough to describe Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner's acting. It was beyond excruciating I'm telling you. The lines were so cheesy, redundant and really did not make any impact at all, or probably because they were not delivered well, which again boils down to bad acting. Dakota Fanning's "pain" line during the council scene was more believable than KStew's two hours of crap.

The movie did not only boast of lame acting but of a boring and very tedious story flow. I haven't read the book but I believe that the movie can be told in one and a half-hour movie, not a two hour one. If the movie would be diagnosed by a cardiograph, it would rise in some parts, plateau a little and become a flat line all the way.

Now I heard that the last book from the Twilight Saga would be made into two separate films, I really doubt that they can hold that much fan base any more if the same formula would be kept in all of the film franchises. I also believe that they need to let their stars undergo acting classes first and their script writers undergo creative writing classes before they could even create two movies for the last book.

It's my birthday today!

2009-11-17T21:21:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to Me!!!

Current Status

2009-11-09T18:25:00.000-08:00

Current Status: Addicted

Current Addiction: Without You by Christina Aguilera

Reason: Lovin' the arrangement of the song, the ethereal vocals and the xylophone outro.

I'm on a diet...

2009-11-05T01:26:00.000-08:00

Today is the third day that I took out rice from my diet and substituted it with wheat bread. It's good actually, you get full but never the bloated feeling you get from eating rice.

The reason for my suffering, I mean diet is because this coming November 14th, I will be attending a mini high school reunion, and I don't want guys from my high school telling me how big I am. I'm not really that big but when I was in high school I was thin--but not too thin. I'd better get ready because they might be comparing me with how I look like when I was still 14 years old. C'mon that was 10 years ago.

Another reason for this though is that on November 21st, Dee and I will be having my post-birthday celebration at the beach. I know, it's November and I know its cold, but I wanted to spend my birthday celebration at the beach. It will either be in Batangas or Puerto Galera. Nothing grand, just quality time together.

Missing Amos, Adele and Apple.

2009-11-02T23:12:00.000-08:00

About three months ago the files in my USB went corrupted. I really don't why and how that happened. All I know is that all my songs were there. Now, they're gone, my laptop could no longer find them.

Now, I'm kind of in the mood to listen to songs from Tori Amos, Adele and Fiona Apple, whose songs were all stored in that USB. Since my laptop couldn't locate the songs in my USB, I won't be able to transfer them to my Mp3 player. Sad. Really.

I really miss listening to Sleeps With Butterflies, Never is a Promise and Chasing Pavements. I really don't know why I suddenly wanted to listen to those songs, but I just did. Must be the obsessive compulsive in me. I guess I have to download them again.

Busy Week

2009-10-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

This has been the busiest week I've had so far. I have a lot of deadlines to meet and I have to spend my precious time wisely because if not, I would fall out of schedule and might get slashed for the payments that I will be receiving from my so-called raket. Even this November 1st, I have to pass a six-page article and on November 3rd, a four-page one.

Anyway, come November 18th will be my birtrhday and all the money I will be getting paid for this coming 15th would all be splurged on celebrating my birthday. Hehehe...

So, after all this week's hardwork, I plan to take a rest and probably get a good massage.

Oh and by the way, Happy Halloween to y'all bitches!

Philippine Fashion Week

2009-10-26T03:00:00.000-07:00

I saw three shows of this season's Philippine Fashion Week. The unfortunate thing was, I still don't have my camera with me. I will be getting it from my sister this week. Damn, I missed a lot of great moments there.

Lesson learned: Wag magpahiram ng camera! hehehe...

The weekend at GMA

2009-10-05T03:19:00.000-07:00

It really breaks my heart every time I see the homeless victims of Ondoy, especially the children and the old ones. I asked Dee if we could give something, even just a small amount of goods. Last Saturday, we went to the newly-opened SM Hypermarket near our house and bought sardines and noodles. After that, we went straight ahead to GMA Kamuning and gave our little donation.

Upon arrival, we asked if we could help repack the goods, but we have to register in order for us to do so. Two others were there too to give their donations, they also wanted to help repack but they too, like us, were unregistered. When we were about to leave, the lady who accepted our donation called us back and said that she can squeeze the four of us in to help in the repaacking. We helped in the repacking of old clothes, soap, alcohol, insect repellant and toothpaste. It was a bit itchy because of the dust coming from the old clothes, but that was nothing compared to all the suffering that our fellowmen are experiencing right now. The itch was nothing, what mattered most was that we were, in our own little way, helping the people in need. I took some pictures but unfortunately my sister borrowed my camera and I forgot to transfer the pictures to my laptop. Anyway, I'll post them here once I got my camera back.

The day after that, I went to my sister’s house, because my other sister had to borrow my camera. I asked them if they have some old clothes to donate. My two nieces gave their old pajamas, shirts and shorts. The younger of my two nieces, who is only 3 years old, gave her little Crocs slippers away. My sister asked their neighbor if they have something to give. They gave me was a big plastic full of children's clothes as well as for adults. They were still very decent dresses and thought that whoever will be receiving this will surely be thankful and happy.

That Sunday night, I texted Dee to pick me up at my sister's house, when he arrived we immediately went back to GMA Kamuning, wasted no time and delivered the clothes.

We hope that even with those small help, we were able to lighten that our fellowmen had to carry on their shoulders. I never thought that helping others that way would be such a nice feeling inside.

For those who are still homeless, we pray for you. God will never fail us.

Addiction

2009-09-15T19:13:00.000-07:00

Two things that eat most of my office time.

O_o

2009-09-15T02:12:00.000-07:00

Walang magawa.

Coming Out

2009-09-11T02:29:00.000-07:00

I finished my workload early today and all that's left to do is do Facebook, browse the net and read blogs to let time fly by. I visited one of my favorite blogs, Manila Gay Guy. I browsed through Migs'(the blog administrator) old posts and have read stories about coming out, labeling and a whole lot more. The stories were nice, heartwarming, heartbreaking and really fun to read, especially the comments from the readers.

There were two posts that I read that left me wondering. The first one was the story of a military man who despite his age still in the closet, the other one, a post from somebody who was ranting over other gay people who label themselves as "bisexuals". I found the two posts relevant to who I was before.

Back when I was younger, during my late teen years, I also branded myself as "bi", not because I both enjoy having sex with both girls and boys but because I wanted to convey an image to possible partners who wouldn't want somebody who is gay. The problem is, when people hear that you're gay, they always associate it with being girly, effeminate or the traditional way people think of bakla. I must admit that during those times, I was till in denial that I was really gay. Still hoping that one day, I would turn straight. The post from MGG said the same that those people who label themselves as bisexual only use the term to look cool and to cover up their homosexuality.

When I was 17, I came out to my friends. When I turned 20, I came out to my mom and my sister. I felt glad while reading the other post about the closeted military guy, because I had the courage to come out to the people that mattered to me. The courage came out probably because during college, everyone was okay with being gay. The college I went to in fact was teeming with beautiful gay people, from the masculine macho gay men to the flamboyant long-haired divas who walk the school lobby as if they were Victoria's secret models. The environment that a gay guy belongs into does play an important factor in his decision to come out. For the military guy, I hope that he finds the right time and the courage to come out to his family and the people around him.

Now as for labeling myself, now that I'm 25, I no longer call myself bisexual. I have learned to embrace the terms "bakla", "bading", "beki", "badingerzee", "badette", "ateh" and a whole lot more. I felt so blessed that I came into terms with my sexuality at the right age with the right people who gave me the courage to do so. Because if I had not, I might still be labeling myself as "bisexual" until now, and would still be in denial about my true self.

switch

2009-09-03T00:06:00.000-07:00

Parang gusto ko mag-switch dito... ambagal kasi ng Tattoo eh..

Celebrity Look-Alikes

2009-08-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

It started when I saw Josh Duhamel in Transformers, and I thought he had some resemblance with Ryan Seacrest. Then I saw Isla Fisher in Definitely Maybe and mistook her for Amy Adams. Then I came up with this idea to look for celebrites that have some resemblance with other celebrities. Take a look at these...

Josh Duhamel and Ryan Seacrest

Isla Fisher and Amy Adams

Mark McGrath and Ethan Hawke

Zooey Deschanel, LilyAllen and Katy Perry

Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera and Donatella Versace

What do you think?
Amazing right?

What ifs...

2009-07-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things in my life that were a product of decisions that were either good or bad. I often find myself in situations were I get stuck between several options, which often get confused. I still manage to come up with decisions though but I am not just sure whether it is wrong or right. Sometimes I wonder if I had done the other way, would I get to this point where I'm at right now? It's not that I'm complaining, I mean I am thankful for every bit of moment that I am experiencing now. It's just that my mind, as always, keeps on pondering on what might have happened if I was to make a different decision and take on another route. I have come up with lists of situations in my life where I came upon several paths and was confronted with the most excruciating thing I have even known; making decisions.

Going to college:

After graduating from high school, I was not sure of what course to take in college and during that time, my older sister was also about to graduate from college and money wasn't really that abundant at that time. So my parents told me to put the year off to give way for my sister's last year in college. Of course I was adamant to the idea because I wanted to go to school. But since I didn't know what course to take up yet, I gave in to their idea. But what if I pleaded and forced my parents to let me go to college during that time. Would I have taken the same course that I took knowing that I was not sure of what to take? If I had not taken the same course then I would end up being in the wrong field that I didn't really have my heart on. Then I wouldn't have met the people back in college that have been the most important people that have shaped the way I am right now. These were people that accepted me for who I am, and if not for their acceptance, I wouldn't be this person now, and that would suck big time wouldn't it?

Leaving Smartbrief and pursuing back the call center life.

I admit that this was one of the decisions I did that I truly regret. I was already there, reaching my dreams of becoming close to a profession in writing. But due to certain situations, I let go of it. It was one of those times that I was really confused of what I wanted to do in life, that poor decision-making led to a life that resembles a circle, going round and round in a never-ending loop. In my case, I keep on starting all over again. I got so emotional that I let it get in the way, with my relationship, with work, with everything. When my contract ended, I decided to call it quits. For almost two months, I was jobless, living on my savings from the previous year. I have been with a three call center companies but never really get to stay that long. First with Teleperformance, which I stayed with for three weeks. Then with VXI for four months then finally with Sutherland for 9 months. In a span of one year and a half, I have been with these companies. Working and getting tired of it and still finding that something which I was not really sure what it is. If I had not left Smartbrief, would I have met Dee? I don't know, but if were really meant to meet each I guess that destiny would find a way for us to cross roads. But if not, I am thankful that I went back to the call center industry. If it weren't for that, we wouldn't have met each other.

Saying goodbye.

I had broken up with JD more that once. The relationship was more than a roller coaster ride. It was a hell of a roller coaster ride. The second time that I broke up with him was the most crucial for me, I was really thinking of leaving for good. But something pulled me back to the relationship. If I had said goodbye that day for good without turning back, I would have been happier that soon. But instead, I held on to the relationship thinking that things might still work out. Because of that, I was miserable.

Going back to the right field.

During my 7th and my 8th month with Sutherland, I was again for the nth time becoming fed up with taking calls. This time what I wanted was to come back to the journalism field. After our trip to Bohol, I started job hunting while still with Sutherland. I had many interviews for different jobs including a position for a writer for MIAA, which was something I really really wanted. But unfortunately I did no get the job. There were also two positions for web content writer. But it seems like luck was never at my side. I finally made it as an academic writer. I started working as a part-time academic writer, but even though it was not a full time job, I quit my job as a call center agent. But there came a point when projects were scarce. Because of this, money was also scarce. I went on for another job hunting. This time, I promised myself that I would never go back to the call center industry. I had two companies inviting me for an exam and an interview. One was Servicio Filipino, which offered a very exciting and pleasantly sounding job. They were looking for copy editors for their upcoming website. The job I believe was more than a copy editing job. It was like a creative consultant for the website. I love the sound of it. The second company as EMCI, a company I have worked with before. The job was also copy editing, which I though would also make a good choice for a job. I passed the interviews and exam for the two companies, but it was EMCI who made the offer first. I grabbed the opportunity since I was jobless then. My heart was with Servicio Filipino, since the job looked more promising. But they took their time before they called me to offer the job. I had no time to wait. After a week of being with EMCI, they called me. But it was too late. I needed money, so I went for the first company who hired me immediately. I was thinking, what if I waited for their response? I might be working for a company that gave me the creative freedom I have always wanted to have. But I didn't. I believe that there is a reason why this job I have now was the one that I got. I may not know what that grand reason is yet but I am thankful that I do have a job right now sans the everyday traffic of going to work. Another "what if" about this thing is that what if I did not have the guts to leave the call center industry to again pursue a profession within my field? I must have been a total disarray right now.

Now I'm realizing that no matter what you do in life, no matter what decision you make, there is no right or wrong. Everything has its own meaning and reason. It's all about taking the risk. It's about jumping into something that you don’t know and get surprised by what's in store for you. I have no regrets or qualms whatsoever about the decisions I made in life, if it weren't for those; I wouldn't be who I am today.

ala-ala

2009-06-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

Hindi ko alam kung bakit pilit akong sinusundan ng mga ala-alang ito. Dahil bas a umuualn? Hindi naman siguro, ayokong sisihin ang ulan sa mga bagay na to. Ala-ala. Ng alin? Mga nakaraan na pilit kong inaalis sa isip ko pero hindi ko magawa. Ala-ala ito ng mga tao, lugar, pangyayari na sa tingin ko naman ay walang halaga para sa akin ngayon. Gusto ko silang himatin ditto para matapos na ang lahat.

Jessie.
Malinaw pa din sa isip ko ang isang taong mahigit naming pinagsamahan. Masaya naman ang pagsasama naming, first time kong magkaroon ng boyfriend na tumagal ng isang taon. Madami kaming mga bagay na nagawa, mga masasayang moments, tulad na lang bung nahuli kami ng guard sa Intramuros na nagdadate dun sa may pader. Mga dates sa mga mahal na kainan, first time ko din yun kasi unang trabaho ko yung mga panahon nay un. Akala ko sya na hanggang sa makilala ko yung taong nagpahibang sa askin.

Ben.
Matangkad, matipuno, gwapo, larawan ng perpektong boyfriend. Sya ang dahilan nag paghihiwa;ay naming ni Jessie. Naalala ko yung mga stolen dates namin tuwing Monday ng gabi sa Shaw. Hibang na hibang ako sa taong yun. Mega sex kapag lingo o lunes, starbucks at Marlboro menthol. Sarap. Hindi naging kami pero masaya ang dalawang buwang fling naming. Pinagpalit ko sya kay JD dahil feeling ko napaka-high maintenance ni Ben maging boyfriend.

JD.

Sya ang naging boyfriend ko. Hindi kagwapuhan pero may dating. Payat na matangkad. Masyado akong naging close sa pamilya nya, halos sa kanila ako tumira ng halos tatlong buwan, umuuwi lang kapag weekends sa amin. Roller-coaster ride and relasyon nay un, ilang beses ako nakipaghiwalay pero bumabalik pa din. Marahil sa mahal ko sya or marahil sa awa. Hindi ko alam. Tanda ko pa noon na nakikinig ako sa kantang Never is a Promise ni Fiona Apple nung sumulat ako ng break up letter sa kanya. Madami akong pagtataksil sa kanya na kapag naiisip ko ay napaka-sama ko palang boyfriend. Siguro dahil na din sa iniisip ko pa din si Ben. Sana sya na lang ang naging boyfriend ko. Hanggang sa iaktlong beses na nakipagbreak ako. Tinutoo na nya. Hindi na nya ako tinaggap. Hindi maganda ang ending namin.

Para sa tatlong tao na to, eto ang alay ko para sa inyo.
Ala-ala

Mukha. Sa ulap aking nakikita,
Hindi mawari, bakit ako binabalikan?
Apat na taon halos, ngayon pa,
Ngayon pa bumabalik.

Hawak. Magkahawak kamay tayo.
Nararamdaman ko pa din ang
Iyong mga kamay, malambot,
Mahigpit, banayad.

Pagtulog. Magkatabi tayo
Sa pagtulog, hininga mo
Sa aking batok, mainit
Damang-dama kita.

Tahimik. Tahimik tayong
Naglalakad sa gitna ng gabi.
Balikat mo sa aking balikat
Sana’y wag nang matapos.

Ala-ala. Gusto kong limutin
Ngunit hindi ata magagawa.
Lahat ay nasa isip ko.
Lahat, dala-dala ko.

tula

2009-05-16T16:07:00.000-07:00

matagal na pala akong walang nasusulat na tula. masyado kasing naging busy. makagawa ng ang tula one of these days.

Good Bye... Call Center Life

2009-05-15T12:29:00.000-07:00

I have finally decided to leave the life I had as a call center agent. I am not sure if I will miss it but I will truly miss the people that I have worked with in the industry. My apologies to the people that I left so hastily, I never had the strength to face you again after leaving with such a short notice. My true calling is whispering to my ears, saying that I must weave words and become the writer that I should be. It was a very drastic move but I know I will never fall. I have great faith to that Someone who is up above. He has already given me the strength to finally make a decision and I know that he will never fail me.
About two years ago, I left my first call center job and was almost there able to reach my dream and fulfill my desire to write, but certain circumstances and decisions gave me a path back to that road of becoming a call center agent again. I was thinking it was probably a way for me to meet that someone whom I will be with. If I hadn’t gone back to become a call center agent again, I wouldn’t have met Dee. So there I was, back on the same road that I thought was my way of fulfilling my desire to settle. However; it’s calling me again. The desire to write was calling me again. It was as if I had to take a reroute in order for me to find someone and be back again on the path to fulfilling my dream to write. Thinking of it, it makes me wonder, God really makes wonder, doesn’t He?
Now I am back, I will make sure that this is really it. I will make it a point that I will never go back to that world again. It’s not that I have resented being a call center agent but ask any agent that you’ll met, the job is quite taxing. The thing that I hate the most about is that I get to converse with people I do not see, people I do not know and people who are demanding that really doesn’t care about who you are. What is most taxing about it is that you have to be ultra nice to these people yet I am not really a nice person. I’m tired of being nice. I’m tired of conformity. I am tired of saying “thank you for calling”. I am tired of speaking. I am totally tired of hearing that loud “toot” sound whenever I receive a stranger’s phone call. I am tired of it to say the least.
I am thankful though for all the experiences I’ve had in joining the industry. But like what I have told Dee, it’s something that you graduate from. I really don’t see it as a job that I am growing old with. I don’t see myself growing old with it. I am thankful for the people I have met, I have made friendships with, had crying moments with. I’ve shared coffee with. I’ve laughed with. I’ve bonded with. I’ve shared my stories with. I will miss all those moments.
Hopefully, I will find peace of mind in what I do now. I shall find my soul again and I will let it rise just like it used to back when my aspirations were still juvenile. I will rekindle my lost moments with my pen.

--Ron

Globe Tattoo Broadband

2009-05-03T10:03:00.000-07:00

Meron na kami nito! wehehehe...

Ang post na walang pamagat

2009-04-03T23:46:00.000-07:00

Ayoko na!

Second day ng 2-day rest day ko at wala pa akong nagagawang makabuluhan... *sigh*

Umikot-ikot na ako sa Cash and Carry, nag-drawing ng kung ano-ano, nag-online, nag-yosi, nanood ng tv, nakinig ng mp3, tumunganga, nag-online ulit, nagyosi ulit, baka lalabas ulit mamaya at mag-iikot-ikot. Pohtek mauubos pera ko sa kakaikot eh...

Mamayang alas-dos papasok na naman ako sa trabaho... Naubos ang rest day ko nang walang nangyayari...

Hayyyy....

The Spirit

2009-03-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

Hindi po ito entry tungkol dun sa pelikula. Isa po itong karanasan sa tindahan ng mga pirated DVD sa Baclaran. (Oo na, alam ko mali ito.)

Pagkagaling namin ni Dee sa paluto sa Baclaran dumaan kami sa mga tindahan ng mga DVD. Nagtanong si Dee nung Milk, pelikula ni Sean Penn.

Dee: Meron po kayo nung Milk?

Tindero: Meron po. (Kuha si Manong at sabay bigay kay Dee.)

Dee: Pa-testing naman kuya. (Inabot ulit ni Dee kay Manong yung DVD.)

Keme si kuya, testing galore ng DVD. Habang nagtetesting ng Milk, nagtanong ako kay kuya.

Ako: Kuya meron kayo nung Spirit? (Yung pelikulang superhero.)

Tindero: Yung series?

Ako: (Nag-iisip. Series ba yun? Eh pelikula yun ah!) Yung pelikula? Spirit?

Tindero: Meron kami Season 4.

Ako: (Nag-iisip ulit. Season 4? Madami na bang sequel yun? Hiningi ko na din dahil baka nagkakamali lang si kuya.) Patingin po.

Tindero: (Tinawag yung isang girl na nagbabantay din.) Keme! ( Hindi tunay na pangalan nung girl) Pahingi nung Spirit.

Lapi si girl na tinawag at sabay kuha ng isa sa mga nakasabit na DVD. Inabot sa akin ni girl yung kinuha nya. Tiningnan ko at inusisa ng maiigi. Ilang segundo ko ding tiningnan yung inabot sa akin ni girl.

Ako: Ay hindi po yan.

Gulo pa din ang isip ko kung bakit iyon ang binigay sa akin. Spirit and hinahanap ko hindi iyon. At dahil mainit, naisip namin na sumakay na. Binalot na din ni kuya yung Milk. Habang naglalakad papunta sa sakayan ng bus, natawa ako.

Alam nyo ba kung ano ang binigay sa akin ni girl nung hinanap ko yung Spirit? Yung pelikulang superhero?

Eto...

Magkalapit nga naman.

The Spirit, DeSpirit Housewives... Hehehe...

Bohol Trip

2009-03-21T22:27:00.000-07:00

I just came back from Bohol this Friday. I should say, that the Island is such a beauty that I fell in love with it. I kept on saying while I was there: "Ayoko nang bumalik sa Manila!!!"

Who wouldn't want to live in such a wondrous place. You're in touch with nature, stress-free and the sea is just nearby. Plus, the people are very friendly. I would definitely go back to Bohol. I was thinking of living there and pursue a peaceful life away from the city.

Here, take a look at the reason why I would want to live in Bohol.

Such a breathtaking view, isn't it?

For more Bohol pictures, click here.

Memory card, Bohol at kung anu-anu pa.

2009-03-13T01:13:00.000-07:00

***

Nag-card error yung camera ko nung isang araw. Bad trip kasi nasa Avalon Zoo kami nang mangyari yun, so ayun hindi ko napicturan yung mga tigre at leon. Kakainis. Ngayon, pagka-withdraw na pagka-withdraw ko sa atm, bumili ako ng memory card sa CDR-King worth P300.00. 2 gb lang. Pwede na yun. Nasa harap ako ng PC ngayon, katatapos ko lang isaksak ang camera sa USB port at nagtry ako na i-reformat ang camera. Ayun, naayos ang memory card. Pero nabura yung mga pictures, buti na lang nasave ko na yung mga pictures sa Batangas. So ngayon, dalawa ang memory card ko. Ok lang, in case ma mag-error ulit yung isa, may back-up ako. Bakit kaya nag-error yun?

***

Next week na ang Bohol trip namin at soooopppeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr excited na ako! Hehehe... One week din akong mawawala at pansamantalang lilimot sa trabaho. Sana wag na magerror yung memory card ko. Gagamitin ko na lang yung bago.

***

Naghahanap ako ng mapaanood sa TV kanina at nahuli ang atensyon ko ng isang cartoon sa Cartoon Network. Nakakatuwa, dahil ang mga bida ay mga sushi. Taray di ba?! Hehehe... Sushi Pack ang tite ng show nila at eto sila.

Ang kukuyut nila di ba? Hehehe

What now?

2009-02-07T06:48:00.000-08:00

I got transferred to the 5am shift, and Global City will be our new location. I was thinking that I was like the most inconvenienced of all employee in the world. Although where I live isn't really that far from work, but it's two jeepney rides--two short jeepney rides.

With that kind of work schedule, I leave work at 2 in the afternoon. Later on I realized, after a day of whining and ranting about my new work scheme, It's not that bad at all. I still have time to go out on malls and wherever place I wanna go to. Come to think of it, I get to sleep during the night and get to catch some nice shows on TV before I go to sleep.

The schedule is only for one month though, after that, I'm going back to the same night shift. If I get to like it, I might ask to be on that schedule for the rest of my stay with the company.

Keanu... Hmmm... Sarap!

2009-01-10T20:54:00.000-08:00

Nung isang araw ko lang napanood ang The Lake House ni Sandra Bullock at Keannu Reeves. Two weeks before that ay yung The Day The Earth Stood Still, na sa tingin ko ay nasayang lang ang pera ko mabuti na lang at Papalicious talaga itong si Keanu Reeves at naenjoy ko na din...

Keanu...

Naalala ko nung bata pa ako, around elementary nung una kong mapanood yung Speed na pelikula ni Papa Keanu, I was so awed by hisgood looks... Hindi ko alam na yun na pala ay early signs ng homosexuality ko... hehehe...

Anyway, gusto ko lang malaman nyong lahat na Super Crush ko pa din ngayon to si papa Keanu Reeves.

Eto sya oh, pagsawaan nyo...hehehehe

Tsalap! (Tulo laway)

Pasakay naman...

Hay... Sarap halikan...

Just Stand Up

2008-12-13T07:09:00.001-08:00

Beyonce: The heart is stronger than you think
It's like it can go through anything
And even when you think it can't it finds a way to still push on, though

Carrie: Sometimes you want to run away
Ain't got the patience for the pain
And if you don't believe it look into
Your heart the beat goes on

Rihanna: I'm tellin' you that
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don't let up

Sheryl: Don't you know you can go be your own miracle

Beyonce: You need to know

CHORUS
Sheryl: If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up

Sheryl/Beyonce: Who are we to be
Questioning, wondering what is what
Don't give up
THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

Fergie: It's like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face

Leona: Just because you go through it

Fergie: Don't mean it got to take control, no

Leona: You ain't gotta find no hiding place

Keyshia: Because the heart can beat the hate

Leona: Don't wanna let your mind keep playin' you

Keyshia: And sayin' you can't go on

Rihanna: I'm tellin' you that

Miley: Things get better
Through whatever

Rihanna: If you fall

Miley: Dust if off, don't let up

LeAnn: Don't you know you

Natasha: Can go

LeAnn: Be your own

Natasha: Miracle

Carrie: You need to know

Ensemble: CHORUS

Mary: You don't gotta be a prisoner in your mind

Ciara: If you fall, dust it off

Mary: You can live your life

Rihanna/Carrie: Yeah

Mary: Let your heart be your guide

Rihanna/Carrie: Yeah yeah yeah

Mariah: And you will know that you're good if you trust in the good

Ashanti: Everything will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart

Mary: And it will get better

Mariah: Through whatever

CHORUS

Fergie: You got it in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
Find it within you, find it within
Everyone: THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

Xtina in Platinum Blonde

2008-11-05T05:21:00.001-08:00

Christina Aguilera is now back with a new look. And it's hoooottttt!!!!

The House Along Tandang Sora and Other Creepy Stories.

2008-10-19T09:37:00.000-07:00

It was a drizzly Sunday at around 2 in the morning when Dee and I had this freaky experience.
We were at Dee’s friend’s house in Tierra Pura subdivision to spend dinner and a few shots of tequila. I got a little bit bored and sleepy so at around 1:30 am, I asked Dee if we could already leave for home. I know I was acting a little bit of a brat again that time, but hey, it was so pretty boring with just having tequila shots and listening to some people talk about their love lives. Dee knows that, but that is not what the story that I’m about to tell you.
One of his friends drove us up to the front gate of the subdivision to where we could wait for a jeep ride going to Commonwealth Avenue. So there we were, waiting for about five to ten minutes for a jeep that we thought that would never come anymore. We decided to take a cab, but then not. We just walked the night away since where we are isn’t really that far from Commonwealth Avenue.
While walking along Tandang Sora Avenue, there’s the usual silly conversations that we have about non-sense things, my super corny jokes that Dee would laugh to, which I don’t know if it really was so funny to him or he would just laugh just to make me feel better because he loves me (aawww…) and the exchange of I love yous. Ehemm…
Since it was already 2 in the morning, there were really few people in the streets, which can be counted by my fingers on a single hand.
I roamed my eyes in my surroundings; dark spots, sleepy security guards at closed gates of houses and three men walking opposite our direction. Nothing really grand. Until my eyes caught this house on the other side of the road that really gave a slight tingle on my spine.
The house, which was a two-story structure had no lights turned on except at the second floor balcony. What gave the eerie feeling was the silhouette standing at the balcony. I could tell it was a man, not just a man, but a big man. From where I stand, the dark figure, I know was wearing a hat—something like a fedora.
I immediately asked Dee: “Dee, tao ba yun?”
Dee turned to the direction I was looking at, and he said: “Oo nga noh.”
We both suddenly looked away. He felt the same feeling I felt and told me not to look back. But I, being stubborn and curious, looked back at the figure by the balcony. He was still there, motionless and still wearing that fedora hat.
“I said don’t look back.” Dee said.
I asked why.
“Whatever that is, it might think that you’re challenging it.”
Challenging? How would I challenge him? Or it?
I did what Dee said anyway, and continued on with our walk.
We were already far form where the house was, when I suddenly felt this urge to look back, thinking that the figure might be lurking at the shadows and following us. Until we reached the end of Tandang Sora Avenue and the lights of 7-11 and McDonald’s gave a big relief.
What could that figure be? Could it be the tequila working on our senses? No, I don’t think so. I know I wasn’t drunk, I know my capacity on alcohol. Could it be a man playing dress up with the fedora hat or could it be something else? What do you think?

***

Since Halloween is only less than four weeks away, I might as well share these stories I have at this house I stayed at in Cityland Townhouses in Oranbo, Pasig.

The Strange Sound

It was an early summer night, around 6pm while I was taking a rest from a trip to Glorietta to meet a friend of mine. I had work at 10pm so I decided to take a quick nap first. I was alone in the house, because my house mates work during the day and come home late at night. I received a text message from Dee saying that he would just go for a swim that night before going to work. Dee and I weren’t together yet at that time, but were already dating.
I set my phone’s alarm at 7:30pm just in time for me to prepare for work. I leave at 8pm to give allowance for my trip from Pasig to Makati. You know how bad EDSA and Ayala Avenue are during those hours.
I was usually alone at that house during those hours and I never ever really felt anything creepy or freaky. Not that I’m the type of person who sees or feels elemental beings. But sometjing that night made me realize how it feels to have the hair at the back of your neck stand.
I was lying at the left side of the bed with the light turned on with my hands crossed underneath my head. From the vague part of my hearing senses, I could hear our neighbor’s children, which was only a wall away from where my room was situated. The door going to the back balcony was slightly ajar, the window curtain turned in a manner that would pave way for the water tank outside viewable from within the room.
Aside from the sounds that the children were creating, the only other sound I could hear was from the drops of water from the overflowing water tank. That harmonious combination of sounds was disrupted by a strange sound that came out of nowhere.
That sound, a cross between a grunt and a groan of a grown man sent the hair on my spine to raise rapidly. My senses abruptly came into a jerk. Like, what the hell was that sound? I can tell that it was a person. It can’t be one of my housemates, because they won’t be home by that hour and I would know if someone is home by the sound of the gate opening and the sound of their footsteps on the stairs.
I have never felt fear like that. Not just from a single sound. Something tells me that it was something else.
So there I was, instead of taking a nap, I quickly grabbed my towel and headed for the shower, dressed quickly and left earlier than expected.

***

The Mysterious Singer

This story was from Kuya Jay, one of my house mates at that house in Pasig. There were times that he would come home earlier, around the same time when I heard the strange sound. He was alone as well at the house when this happened. He said that I wasn’t at home at that time, which I could testify because I know that I was sleeping at a friend’s house on the date that he specified.
His room was at the attic, my room mate JD and I stay at the second floor, which was only a few flight of stairs down from Kuya Jay’s room. He swore that he heard somebody singing from our room. He said that it couldn’t have been me, because the song choice wasn’t my choice of songs. He ignored it though, thinking that it was just JD, my room mate.
When JD came home at around 10pm, which was his usual arrival time, Kuya Jay asked him if he went out again. He said no, he just came home. Then Kuya Jay asked: “Eh sino yung kumakanta kanina sa kwarto nyo?”

***

The Watchful Eyes

At the same house, my room mate JD told me this story about our room. He had a friend then who went for a sleep over. I was at work then so he had somebody accompany him for the night.
Again, the sound of water from the overflowing tank filled the night. His friend asked him if they could close the window and cover it with the curtain. My room mate asked why. Then his friend told him that he was feeling uncomfortable with the window open, it’s as if somebody from the outside was watching them.
My room mate disagreed because it would cause the room to go warm and told him to stop saying creepy things like that. They continued on, with JD winning over the decision on not closing the window.
Then his friend felt those watchful eyes from the outside again and insisted that they close the window. JD’s friend told him that spirits dwell on dark and moist places, which was a crsip description of the back balcony.
JD agreed to close the window even though it’s going to be warm inside the room because I think that he was beginning to feel those watchful eyes too.

Missing My Dee

2008-08-31T05:01:00.000-07:00

Dee went back to living with his family, its only been a day since he went and I am terribly missing him... I don't know how to last a day without seeing him. *sigh*

If only I could pull him back from his family.

I'm thinking though, it's not like we're totally separating. It's just that he's gonna be living back with his family. It's like an old school kind of relationship, where couples would see each other after work and go on a date and stuff...

It's gonna be more romantic though..
And just like what a friend of mine said: We still have each other.

I miss you so much Dee.

Bye Bye American Express, Hello eBay!

2008-07-26T03:35:00.000-07:00

The words AmEx, certification and Peggy Barber has got into my nerves for the past few weeks and I can't seem to get it off my system. Truth is, I even have dreams--no, nightmares about these things.

What bugs me the most is the pressure of having the feeling of being watched all the time by restless eyes and heartless ears of people that knowa nothing about how you feel everytime you enter the floor of the fifteenth floor of the RCBC Tower 2.

Anyway, I shouldn't be worried about that because I no longer am a part of the Blue Chip (Blue Tsip as I tell my coleagues, who themselves have left the premises of the so-called hell-hole), and the good thing about not being certified is that I will no longer be obliged to be nice even though I am not.

Here comes a new opportunity, no longer will I be saying:

"American Express, this is Ron, to whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?"

but instead:

"Thank you for calling eBay, this is Ron, how can I help you today?"

Or so I think their opening spiel is. I don't know.

But anyway, I'm still thankful that I wasn't endorsed to another financial account this time.

I just hope that this time, it really is for real.

Bb. Pilipinas-Universe 2008 National Costume a.k.a. "The Bougainvilla Dress"

2008-07-21T01:37:00.001-07:00

"The Bougainvilla Dress"

Ang taray di ba?

May mga butterflies pa!

Critters by the Bay

2008-07-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

Ever been to the bay by the Mall of Asia?
Ever seen these critters that resemble a cross between a shrimp and a cockroach?
Can somebody tell me what these creatures are?

Murder at Valero

2008-07-14T07:08:00.000-07:00

While walking with Dee one fine morning along Valero street in Makati, we stumbled upon a gruesome body lying lifeless on the sidewalk...

Poor creature of God,

Murdered helplessly,

He could've lived the morning to eat some fine breakfast, but he didn't...

We pray for your soul...

Magic exists

2008-06-15T19:26:00.000-07:00

The past month was the first time in my life that I could say "I can breathe now."
After all those times that I felt like I could never ever feel the lightness of being happy and the freedom from the burden of hatred and melancholy, I am proud to say that I am now a free man.

Before, just months earlier, being happy and putting a smile on my face seemed like the hardest thing to do. Everyone at my sight seemed like villains and people I should not trust.

I took happiness from random sex from random people. But at the end of the day, there's always something missing.

I told myself that there has got to be something better than this. A life I could be proud of, being with someone that I could be proud of.

Someone that I could declare to the world as my love, and a life that I could declare as a life filled with love.

Until one day, I found him.
And he found me...

I still believe in fairy tales, no matter what people say or might think. Or no matter how people might convince me that the magic of love does not exist anymore,
I beg to disagree...

It still exist...

And it happened to me...

Jay Aquitania

2008-06-08T00:31:00.000-07:00

Jay Aquitania???

Istatyu???

Ang tingin ko lamang sa batang ito dati ay pang-teeny bopper lang, pero ang sarap-sarap nya dito sa mga nakak-elyang larawan an ito eh..
hehehe...

Ang bongga naman nito..

hehehe...

Sex... and the City of course...

2008-06-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

Dee and I watched Sex and the City last week, and I was blown away by the comedy, the scenes and of course the glamor that a die-hard Sex and the City fanatic would expect.

Damn, those women are gorgeous!

Carrie Bradshaw and the girls really rocked those outfits! It was like everyday New York fashion week in the movie.

One thing I noticed is that almost all of their accessories are in gold. From belts to bangles to necklaces, even Louise, Jennifer Hudson's character's "Love" key chain is in gold.

bee and dee... weekend in galera

2008-05-28T02:55:00.001-07:00

galera

2008-05-28T02:33:00.000-07:00

It was one of those moments that I don't want to end. Being with that someone I love in the most serene of moments.

--weekend in Puerto Galera

A New Beginning

2008-05-16T02:12:00.000-07:00

I just want to take this opportunity to thank that person who came into my life and made me realize that there really is more to life than just temporary happiness. He made me see the goodness in everyday living, the life I have to live and the people around me that matters the most. He also made me realize that He is up there and that I should reconnect with him in order to be myself again.

I am looking forward to living my life with you in a spiritual manner, I am leaving all of my excess baggages in my past and will be looking forward to a new beginning with lightness in my heart and mind and a new love to build my life with...

I love you...

Still thinking about moving on

2008-04-21T17:17:00.000-07:00

Honestly speaking, it's really kind of hard for me to move on from that phase where I just can't seem to make friends with that someone I've once cared so much about. During these times that my only way to let go of the feeling is to mask it with ager and hatred. I really hate to do it but it's my only way of escape-goating.

I know that it's my fault and I don't wanna go into details anymore of what happened and how my actions has caused him and I so much pain. It's really ridiculous, and sometimes I wanna kill myself for doing it.

Part of me says that ending the relationship was the right thing, a part of me says that it's not the right way. But I am not in the position right now to turn things back. To make everything right. To make ammends because I have paid my dues.

Moving forward, I am trying to be strong amid the whirlpool of emotions that I feel. A mess that I, sometimes would want to erase from my memories. To become completely free of emotions being felt, becoming numb to feel anything at all.

Somehow, I still wish that he would still care for me. But these are the times when I realize that I am still that little child who thinks that fantasies are real and that one day, the magic of love would still save me from my destructive self.

Karma

2008-03-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't had any idea that it would backfire at me. I was pretty sure that I was doing fine until he said that he doesn't love me anymore. I tought that he would always be there. I was wrong. This was what I wanted from the first place, so I'm going to stand for that decision that I've made. I've made my bed and I must lay in it.

What's hurting is that you were the one that was somehow dumped. I don't get dumped, I'm the one who dumps. Anyway, that's why I'm calling it karma. Like J.T. said: "What goes around, goes around, goes aroundComes all the way back around." Hell...

I guess it's my turn to cry this time... Coz I made him cry a lot of times... all I can say is...

I'm Sorry...

Kaka-imbey ever ang Bb. Pilipinas-World na itoh!

2008-03-11T01:30:00.000-07:00

Sobrang kaka-eewww ang contestant na ito! Boba ka ateh?! Mag-aral ka muna ng English bago ka sumabak sa Miss World... Nakakahiya! Pero watch nyo na lang para sumaya ang araw nyo... hehehehe...

Hot Sexy Mamas!

2008-03-04T03:31:00.000-08:00

Wanna see sexiness personified by glamorous mamas? Check this out Victoria's Secret 2007.

Jackson Abdul dance videos

2008-02-28T01:13:00.000-08:00

Ah.. I feel like shaking my ass to these songs. Check these out, new videos from Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul.

Happy V-Day

2008-02-09T10:14:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines
to all! Sana happy kayo with your partner this Araw ng mga Puso.

MRT at ang umbok ni kuya

2008-02-03T00:59:00.000-08:00

Galing ako ng job application nun sa Teleperformance sa Crossing, at dahil sa siniswerte ako, eh nakapasa naman ako. So ito na nga, tinext ako ng dati kong officemate para makipagkita sa Trinoma. Sabi ko uuwi muna ako para maligo dazhil malapit lang naman ang bahay ko, pero ang sabi ny awag na daw. Nagmamaarte daw ako.. Echosera... hehehe... So sumakay ako ng MRT sa Shaw boulevard, hindi naman nagtagal at dumating din na din yung tren. As usual, siksikan... sumakay ka ba naman ng MRT ng ala-syete ng gabi eh...
Pagsakay ko ng tren, sari-saring mukha ng mga kuya. Syempre dun ako sumakay sa teen na panglalaki kasi boy ako. Kunwari totoong boy daw ako... hehehe... May mga kuyang borta, maputi, maiitim, payat, chaka, kergeder, constru, naka-aslong-as-leeves... Ipit at siksik galore ang drama ko. Pero dedma, kinig lang ng iPod.
Sa likod ko, may kuyang naka-dark blue na aslong-as-leeves, islacks at black syus at may mailman bag na malaki. Cutie-cutie naman, daddy-daddy ang dating. Sa una dedma muna, kasi baka ma-boogie wonderland tayo eh. So hindi muna ako naghpacute.
What happened was very shocking! Well, sa totoo lang e hindi naman talaga shocking kasi meju napansin ko na mat pagka-berde si kuya. At eto na nga ang nangyari, si kuya, maputi, mestiso, formal, nasa likod ko. May naramdaman akong konting bulge na dumidikit sa likod ko... as in sa mga cheeks nd wespas ko!
Nalerki ako!
Anu yun? Isa lang ang alam kong ganun ang pakiramdam kapag dumidikit sa katawan ko! at iyon ay walang iba kundi etits!
Sana mali ako, ay sana pala tama ako... tama ako na etits nga iyon... hehehe...
Kung etits nga iyon, etits nino? Ni kuyang mestiso sa likod ko? Imposibleng dun sa kergeder-looking guy sa tabi nya, ang haba naman ng junjun nya kung ganun..
Hindi pwedeng yung bag nya yun kasi nasa gilid nya yung bagelya nya eh..
Humanap ako ng paraan para makit ako ang dumidikit na kabukulang iyon sa likod ko, pero masikip! Hindi ako maka-ikot!
Namanyak na ba ako? Ito na ba yung matatawag na namanyak? Ahihihi... Hindi naman pala sya nakakabastos tulad ng sabi ng iba, in fact, nakaka-kilig at nakaka-flatter ng aeh... hihihi...
Patuloy sa pagkiskis ang bukol na yun, at imbes na lumayo ako eh, bahagya kong idinikit ang wespas ko.. AT super flirt talaga ako, ok lng kasi gwapo naman si kuya... Eh kung chakang kergeder yun eh, siniko ko ang mukha nun sabay sabing "Gi atay, kamaot man nimu! Hawa dinha!"
Pagdating ng Cubao station, nabawasan ang mga utaw. Kaya ito na nag moment of truth! Malalaman ko na kung si junjun nga ni kuya ang bukol na dumidikit sa behind ko... Tumagilid ako, mega sight sa fez ni kuya.
Bonggang bonga! Artistahin ang manyak na mokong!
AT! Bulges dalore ang drama ng crotch ni kuya! Halata kasi nka-islacks sya! Confirmed mga people! pag-aari nga ni kuya ng nadarama ko sa likod ko...
Habang lumalabas ang mga tao sa tren, umandar ang pagka-naughty ko. Gumanti ako ke kuyang cute na manyak. Mege kiskis ako ng hands ko sa bukol nya. One thing, para matauhan sya na virginal ako at hindi ako easy-to-get (echosers ng taon!) Second thing is baka ulitin nya ng harapan at baka patulan ko sya! Char lng po... hehehe...
Sa North Ave din pala sya bababa... nang palabas na eh dun sya sa kabilang exit lumabas. Cguro nahiya sa kalibugan nya. Gusto ko sanang sabihin na teka lng wait for me, we're not yet done! hehehe... Echos lang... hehehe...
Hindi naman pala ganun ka-degrading ang mamanyak, keri lng... Nakaka-flatter nga eh, kasi nakakaelya pa pala ako kahit haggard ang lola mo sa mag-hapong pag-aantay at kaba kung papasa ba ako sa application ko... o di ba ang taray! Hahahaha...

David Anders--the "poging bad guy"

2008-01-22T20:39:00.000-08:00

Another ALIAS character that caught my attention, bad boy Julian Sark played by hot young guy David Anders. Sinister as he may be, I could not care less. As long as he is the bad guy, I'm on his side... Hahahaha...

Bradley Cooper... oh, to die for...

2008-01-22T20:25:00.000-08:00

Like what I' ve said from my previous entry, I was bumming around doing nothing but watch ALIAS on DVD. There is this character Will Tippin played by deliciously gorgeous actor Bradley Cooper. If I was a secret agent I'd say that he's the one I want to go out on a mission with. And if I would die during the mission, that would be fine as long as I'm in his arms. Hehehe...

Bumming Around

2008-01-13T01:59:00.000-08:00

It was my first week without work, and all I did was watch Alias. I bought season 1 - 5 in Quiapo (sorry I just bought the pirated version.. Nyaknyaknyak). I'm still getting used to not working. Probably next week I'll start looking for a new job. But for the mean time, it's Alias time... Hehehe...